Workplace Issues cont'd...
I had thrown away what could have been a wonderful marriage, a wonderful life, all because of … a job. I finally had to admit that I needed help. I called Interlock again and was able to meet with my counsellor immediately. With that counsellor's guidance, I was able to convince my spouse to give me one last chance, and to take counselling with me. My spouse sought anger management counselling as well. In addition, we amassed a significant library of recommended self-help books.
Something more had to change, though. I had to get off that treadmill, find less stressful and less consuming work. I was seriously concerned that, although my spouse and I were reconciling and in fact, building a new marriage, some of the external factors had to be altered or we’d be sunk. I was realizing that there was a lot of truth to the saying “If you can’t stand the heat, get out of the kitchen”. I couldn’t take the heat anymore, even though much of it was self inflicted. But I dreaded more change; I didn’t want to make the effort to seek out more amenable work. And wouldn’t it be admitting defeat , wouldn’t I be a failure if I changed jobs? Wasn’t I taking the coward’s way out? Maybe my job wasn’t so bad after all.
I am pretty much an atheist, but I still think Someone was looking out for me. Around that time, I received an offer from a lawyer who resided in a small town and needed an associate. My spouse and I leapt onto this opportunity as though onto a life raft. I couldn’t care less that I would be taking a cut in pay. This was the chance I needed – to get a life beyond work.
That was two years ago, and I cannot believe the difference. My work is such a small part of my life now. I have taken up so many other interests (gardening, music lessons, choral singing, working out at the gym, hiking, skiing, craft work). My 2-hour round-trip commute is now a 5 minute drive or a 10 minute walk. On winter Friday mornings, I don’t go into the office – I go skiing. On summer Fridays, I don’t go into the office at all - the office is closed. I actually have friends now, people who are not lawyers. Best of all, my marriage is far richer and rewarding than it ever was before. My spouse and I are better partners, friends and lovers. I am finally beginning to allot my work to a more appropriate place in my life.
But there are times when I feel myself backsliding. continued...