Trapped...or so I Thought
I entered law school at the age of 21, graduated at 23 and at 25 had an office overlooking Stanley Park as an associate with a well known downtown law firm. My performance evaluations as and articled student were excellent. Immediately after being called to the bar, I was fortunate to find myself the junior of a well-known and respected senior lawyer practicing in an area of law of great interest to me. I was provided with an opportunity to work on high-profile cases and was exposed to the type of work and client base that most young lawyers only dream of.
During the course of the year following my call, I was consistently acknowledged fort the quality of my work. I was permitted to participate in just about any case that was of interest to me. I was praised for my ability to effectively deal with clients and was directly responsible for a large number of significant files. In addition, I was well liked by my coworkers at the firm and in general. Upon reflection, my career at that time could be described as nothing other than promising. It was, however, a house of cards.
I can see now that as my career progressed, it was doomed to fail for a number of reasons:
I was unable to say “no” when work was offered to me and felt that the work ethic of my coworkers (unhealthy as it was) had to be copied. This was a deadly character flaw in an environment flush with work and workaholics.
I lived for the praise and express acknowledgement of a job well done, while secretly feeling that I was a failure at the slightest criticism. My self-worth was linked to my performance at work.
My life focused on and was dominated by work alone. This included frequenting the office on weekends.
I was not eating properly or exercising, resulting in fatigue and exhaustion. Nicotine, caffeine and alcohol provided little relief.
Most importantly, I had no interests of friends outside of work. My life was completely unbalanced.
As a consequence of these factors, I became completely depressed. continued...