Harriet the Over-Doer - page 3

Finding Harriet is what my life journey has been about. How do you identify a problem if you can’t acknowledge there is any problem?

Where does a Harriet come from? Well, this one emerged from a childhood of violence and darkness that most individuals cannot conceive of; a day to day existence of punched in walls, shouting, and vicious assaults on a small child.  Railing against it was foolish and I learned too, early and well, the importance of secrecy and of the threat of outsiders.

Humour became my shield, I learned to placate, to mediate, and most of all to watch body language for the smallest indicators that violence was about to erupt. I learned to present a happy and confident front that no one could dent. I got A’s in school. I learned to be a caretaker of others and to ignore any needs I had personally. In retrospect many of these skills are a blessing and they kept me alive and then, later on, assured me a successful career. In short, Harriet was born.

A few short months after I turned 16 I ran away never to return to live with my family. What I didn’t know, nor could I have known at the time, was that I carried my prison with me when I fled into the streets and across this country. Not surprisingly I entered into a relationship with the first man who appeared to be kind. In this manner I handed over the key to my prison to a new gaoler from which it would take me another 16 years to escape.  Throughout this marriage the only control Harriet had was over her own body and this was exercised religiously in the form of an eating disorder. continued...

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